


a gentleman of foreign parts

by Blanchette (Guinevak)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Consentacles, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Tentacles, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guinevak/pseuds/Blanchette
Summary: "Dear me," said Lucinda.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Regency heroine/tentacle alien
Comments: 40
Kudos: 88
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	a gentleman of foreign parts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [penna_nomen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penna_nomen/gifts).



“Dear me,” said Lucinda.

She was a practical girl, neither overly missish nor given to romantic vaporings, and she had certainly not become attached to Mr. Gzurjkl through any interest in his person. A very tall, very sallow gentleman, slightly bow-legged; his colourless hair was thinning, and he wore blue spectacles. But he was well-spoken — though with a peculiar lisping accent which no one could quite place (and in fact the marriage had been delayed some months owing to Lucinda’s strong conviction that one should be able to pronounce one’s married name) — he was kindly, and he had inherited a modest fortune from his great-uncle, Admiral Kzorbph. Also, he shared her interest in astronomy. 

Upon their engagement, her mamma — an equally practical woman — had not neglected to acquaint Lucinda with certain facts pertaining to the married state. These had been somewhat startling, and at first slightly distasteful. By now, however, she felt herself perfectly well prepared, and even a little curious, to undertake her wedding night.

Or she _had_ done so, until thirty seconds ago, when Mr. Gzurjkl’s trousers had come off and— 

“I beg your pardon,” she added quickly, for her husband was looking crestfallen. “Only I had expected rather… fewer than that.”

He coughed, and looked down at the carpet, a liver-coloured flush rising to his cheeks. “Er, well, yes. I ought to explain—”

“Dear Mr. Gzurjkl — dear Vredk, I should say — it is not of the slightest consequence, except that I am not entirely sure that I, um—”

Silence fell. They were now both looking at the carpet.

Mr. Gzurjkl was the first to recover. “It is quite an, er, quite harmless condition, hereditary in my family.”

“I see.”

“It would take a good deal of time to explain in full, but I assure you, Lucinda, you need have no fear either for your health, or that I shall insist upon any intimacies which would disgust you.”

Lucinda lifted her gaze from the floor, where it had been fixed, to his tightly folded hands, and then to the faintly writhing front of his nightshirt, and at last to his face. “Oh no,” she said. “Not at all.” 

She advanced, rising on her tiptoes to set a hand against his cheek, and with the other hand lifted the spectacles from his face. His eyes were golden, and fathomless, full of stars.

“My only fear,” she went on gently, “is that I shall not know where to begin.”

Vredk drew her to him, and then put his arms about her, and they gave their minds to the problem.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not what I hoped it would be, but I hope it at least makes you grin!


End file.
